Thought I Might Just Show You a New Page I Have Made

I have always had trouble reading the bible

I have started and stopped loads of times

I am reading daily and hope I continue to

I am also writing things down as I read

visit me here which can be found in my side bar

I dont tolerate or condone domestic violence.

Today the 25th of November is White Ribbon Day – the international day for the elimination of violence against women.

I found out about this on Saturday here http://www.stuff.co.nz/4768820a11.html after reading the horrific things that can take place I feel I got off lightly.  However I will share with you my stories of abuse with you.

Case 1

I had just come out of my marriage and felt lucky that someone seemed to love me still.  We had been friends for ages before we started seeing one another.  People told me he wasnt treating me right but I was too “blind” to see.  Not too long after we started dating he told me he’d like to live nearer his dad and in the South Island and so we packed up all our gear and we moved south.  It is common for men to try to isolate their victims.

It wasnt long before his anger escalted here.  He would throw plates across the room.  He sent me out to work part time and while I was gone I later learnt that he abused my daughter verbally.  One day I was putting my baby boy down on the floor to play.  He started to interverve, he believes I punched him, I never touched him.  He hit me then he had me by the tshirt near my throat and was backing me through the room and up against the couch where I sat down.  He was yelling that I was to never hit him again.  I was telling him I hadnt.  He then took off which he did frequently.  I find it hard to forgive myself I use to cuddle my children to get comfort.  Shortly after this esposide I left.

Case 2

7 years later and hopefully wiser I started dating men.  I met one man (amongest others) whom seem so handsome and nice.  Often these men can seem like nice guys.  In fact the first one was like a Mr Jerkel and Mr Hyde.  Nice when he was out in public not so nice when he was home with his family.  He told me the day after we met that he had been in trouble for manslaughter in the past.  He fed me a story about a fight he had gotten into years ago.  I believed him, I shouldnt have, I should have run for the “high hills” then but I didnt.  It was his past and he was so nice and handosme.  I was only with this man for 3 months but it was the longest 3 months of my life.  He had control issues.  If I didnt do exactly as he wanted he would turn nasty.  He would yell, he smashed my cellphone one night with a hammer, he threw our stuff across the room, he threw things that belonged to us out the window as we drove along in the car, he terrified my children.  I can still remeber them hiding under the desk in their room.  He yanked power cords out of the wall.  We eventually broke up when he decided that I wasnt obedient enough.

He left me stranded with just my togs on in a public swimming pools miles away from my house on a Sunday when the public transport system was not working to proper capicity.  My children (8 and 11) were with me thankfully they were dressed already.  Eventually we got home on public transport late at night with only a towel around me.  Hed left.  The next day he returned, we fled out the back bedroom wiondow, I somehow now knew he was terrifying.  I later learnt that the manslaughter story was partly true – he had in fact mistreated a little girl whom ended up dieing.  I grieved for her even though I didnt know her.  He also treated her mother much worse than hed treated me.  Not that that should make any difference.  It doenst matter how badly a man treats you – You dont need to live with men like these in your life.

If you are a female trapped in this situation you dont have to put up with it.  All too often we are made to feel like we deserve it but we arent.  Abuse also doest need to be physical.  It can be mental and emontional.  If you dont feel valued, respected and loved chances are you in an abusive relationship.  No female needs to live in fear.  No female needs to feel its their fault – it isnt!!

Go tell someone you trust.  A neighbour, a friend a family member.  They can help you get your confidence back.  My mother and I dont get on but her one piece of advice that I clung too and I believe helped me take the brave move to get out was she told me if a man ever hits you get out!!  Its not an easy thing to do and may take some planning but do it.  Being a Christain I also believe that God told me to get out too.  I heard his voice firmly the first time.  Go somewhere safe.  I went to Womens Refuge if you dont live in New Zealand I am sure there are organisations in other countries whom will help you.

You dont have to take this.  You dont have to tolerate or put up with this type of treatment.  You are worth much much more.

Today I am wearing a paper ribbon this morning and a more plastic type this afternoon.  I am helping with My Home Schoolers yatching programme and I dont want it to get damaged with water.

Weekly Review

My Home Schooler and I had two attempts at this boiled fruit loaf the first one burnt on top BADLY

it was yummy minus the burnt part for desert

this one went to playgroup

after kindy Our Little Man and I went and picked up my happy pills

I had to ring the noise control at 2am there was a party across the road

We went on a Home Schooling trip to the Faraday Centre.  Unfortunity I forgot my camera.

this afternoon when My Home Schooler was doing his paper run and My Little Man was with Mr Wonderful I had a rest and a nap

My Home Schooler came home with this HUGE tennis ball from one of Mr Wonderfuls clients

Mr Wonderful and he played with it after dinner

after gracerys tonight drank fanta, ate nuts and read my book until My Home Schooler had finished Sea Scouts

this afternoon My Home Schooler and I went to a meeting to learn how to rig a yatch and tie knots.  Next week My Home Schooler is going to go on a course learning how to sail an Optism Yatch.

Movie night with popcorn and fizzy drinks

My Home Schooler brought the dvds The Bee Movie and Wallace and Gromit – The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Our Little Man fell asleep ½ way through the 2^nd movie so I put him to bed and went to bed myself and read

church feel like Im starting out on another moving closer to God period

weekly review

MY HS and I made these fruity buns for play group tomorrow

and the used the lemon jam I made and yaye the clever loving caring Katie knew how to thicken it which I did

thanks sweetheart U ROCK

Its been a quiet but busy home schooling week here

been studying some more about Ancient Eygpt

I got a note from Anne (My Home Schoolers private tutor) saying My Home Schooler needed to know more about world history I spent quite a few hours poured over the internet wondering how I was going to achieve this.  There is so much history that we could learn.  Where was I to start???

A home schooling friend lent me her wall chart of history and upon becoming absorbed in this I began to realise that we have studied some history this year – The Aztecs, Ancient Egpyt, America, Stonehenge, New Zealand – its a start and as my home schooling friend reminded me we teach what interests our boys.

On Friday night I did some more lesson planning in a couple of weeks My Home Schooler is going to be part of a course in Optism Yatching and there is a premeet next Friday afternoon by which time they need to know the parts of a yatch and know how to tie some knots.

After finishing my housework for the week – Ive began spreading out over the days of the week more – I took the boys to the library.  I enjoy driving home after the library visits my boys always have their heads absorbed in their new finds.  I also got a couple of world history books.  I am hoping they will wet My Home Schoolers appitate some and start us with a list of people places and times we would like to learn more about now and next year.

Then we went to Mitre 10 where My Home Schooler brought some screws he needed for his bike.  While he was doing that Our Little Man enjoyed himself on the indoor playground they have in their store.  Wished Id taken my camera he did have a fun time.  Then we went to Paper Plus where My Home Schooler brought some more Zac Power books – he loves them.  He has decided he is going to start collecting them

While he did this Our Little Man and I walked down to the supermarket and brought some conditioner Id forgotten to buy On Thursday night – my grocery shopping night.

When we got home we enjoyed a shared reading time together.  I read the 4 books Our Little Man had chosen (with help) and 4 chapters of Zac Power to My Home Schooler.  It was a nice time for us all.

church where they talked about the maginficance of God

the preacher showed some photos of what makes him excited about Gods maginiciance – outer space how vast it is and grand and theres so much we are only just beginning to realise

It reminded me of the beautiful sunsets that I LOVE so much

to me God is the greatest artist ever

this afternoon I cleaned the inside of my car

tonight I got the music and lyrics ready for play group on Tuesday we are starting our Christmas theme for the rest of the term.  My dear Mr Wonderful helped me bless him

Peanut Butter Fixes Everything

I have always LOVE Little Golden Books

This afternoon I was reading to Our Little Man

We had got to the page where Dan had run into his mother and I asked My Little Man what would she do to make it all better?  What would she give him?

My Little Man answered “peanut butter”

I was surprised but he reassured me that what the cowboy needed was Peanut butter

week in review

yes I know the video stopped short dont know why but I have put the end up at the end of the post

Canteen Noodle where we got dinner on Saturday night from highly recommended

On we went to see a parade of motorbikes or “bookers bookers” as Our Little Man calls them.  They drove from Hastings to Napier and through some small towns of the Hawkes Bay on the way.  They are delievering thousands of $$ and thousands of toys to Birthright in Napier.

This afternoon I made jam for the first time ever.  mr Wonderful bless him keeps bringing bags of lemons home and I knew  I had to do somthing with them.  I found this easy jam recipe and decided to have a go

its nice but runny – any ideas about how to thicken it easily for next time

Happy Birthday Misty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

His Birthday Wore Him Out

My Little Man is 3

This morning I was woken up by one of Mr Wonderfuls sisters texting Happy Birthday at 6 am!!

I went outside and set up my present to Our Little Man

Then surprisingly Our Little Man whom normally sleeps in woke up at 6.30 am

After recieving his presents from his dad and I

we went to McDs for breakfast – he LOVES burgers

We came home I taught My Home Schooler some and then at 11 am My Home Schooler and I set up lunch

I noticed that in some ways My Home Schooler is a prefectionist

He made the cake and decorated the table

This afternoon My Home Schooler and I packed for his weekend sea scout camp

Then he went and did his paper run and saw Anne (he didnt go yesterday – she was busy)

It was a very busy day for me.  I hardly stopped all day.  It will be an early night for me

A good day and Our Little Man is growing up

hes getting bigger as he likes telling us

I got clucky the other day looking at photos of him over the last 3 years

Week In Review