My 3 boys and I

November 28, 2007

Forms of Discipline



Proverbs 13:24

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

TM wanted to know whether I do spare the rod when it comes to my disciplining my toddler.

First of all let me say there have been times when my toddler has been such a rascal I have smacked him. On the leg or hand with my hand.

I dont think this makes me a bad mum. I hardly ever do it. I am NOT abusive. I usually growl at him though or not allow him to sit on my knee which he likes. This last one works quite well. I explain that I do not like what he has done that it hurts or something. I believe children (even as young as toddlers) understand far more than some people give them credit for.

Generally I think My Little Man is a good boy.

I LOVE my boys. I care deeply about them. I however do not spoil them and let them get away with things. Spoil children are usually in my opinion not nice children to be around. Sometimes life is not fair and we dont always get everything we want.

In New Zealand it is against the law to smack your child

I am NOT in favour of this law

I DO NOT believe it will help get to the abusive parents

Smacking is very different to hitting, punching, kicking and abusing your child

I see this law as a interference in the way good parents have parented their children for years and years and generations and generations

I see it as a way of breaking up families

I believe a friend of mine is right when she says that while we are not allowed to smack our children they (the government) do not support us in parenting our children

I am aware that some people may not agree with everything I do. That is their right. This is my blog, my view and my life.

I am now suppose to tag 5 people but Im not going to. Another thing I believe is how you discipline your child is up to you. Unless of course you are abusing them. I have been out with several abusive men I am not one to now stand by and let it happen. Peace be with you and yours



  1. I agree with you. We did spank our children, but as one older Christian man with a godly family told us, if you do it right you don’t have to do it often. It is a Biblically mandated form of discipline. I’ve had it in the back of my mind to write a post about this one day.

    I think the anti-spanking sentiment is crippling children. I know of adults personally who have no self-control or self-discipline and are a slave to their passions because they weren’t disciplined as children (aside from scolding, which they tuned out).

    Comment by Barbara H. — November 28, 2007 @ 9:50 am |Reply

  2. i’d never use a wooden spoon or a belt ever (like i was) my toddler gets a warning and a smack on the bottom or the hand. the hardest bit is not being angry when smacking your child. i find it hard to smack my toddler in public 😦 it seems everyone judges everyone these days and think their opinion is the only right one. *sigh* i dont think its right that people who dont have kids start attacking or putting down parents and how they discipline their kids.

    Comment by tiffany — November 28, 2007 @ 11:03 am |Reply

  3. you and me both Jen, I have to wonder if the anti smacking brigade people actually have ever had children of their own. To me there is a BIG difference between one small smack on a child’s bottom and a beating. The government said the new law would stop child killings, it hasn’t and it won’t because smacking doesn’t kill but beatings and child abuse do.

    Comment by Amy — November 28, 2007 @ 11:26 am |Reply

  4. I can’t imagine living in a place where you aren’t allowed to smack your own child… That is CRAZY!!!

    Comment by Jana — November 28, 2007 @ 2:13 pm |Reply

  5. Your right Jen, the law does not stop the child abusers, if anything it just drives it further underground.

    Comment by Rachael — November 28, 2007 @ 2:52 pm |Reply

  6. I agree with you Jen and the others. It has been ordained in God’s word as a way of dealing with naughtiness. I smacked my 2 but seldom. The learned quickly to detected that ‘tone ‘ in my voice which meant that is the final warning. They are nice adults now. We must honor God’s instruction which the PC government is trying to destroy and I hate to think what the next generation will be like.

    Comment by Jan — November 28, 2007 @ 6:50 pm |Reply

  7. i agree with u…
    “Proverbs 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” is my guiding principle too. it is always alright to get a young child corrected from his/her mistakes.

    btw, i have domething for u!

    Comment by recel — November 28, 2007 @ 7:11 pm |Reply

  8. I agree with you also. I didnt realize they had this law in NZ. There is a big difference between a loving and controlled spanking and an out of control abusive parent…..because that is parent is out of control I dont believe a law is going to be able to stop them. I missed the very beginning of the count down and still not sure what it is for (now that it is almost over). Been meaning to ask…..

    Comment by Kay in PA — November 28, 2007 @ 8:05 pm |Reply

  9. Chidren have turn out to be good citizens with rod spared too. The truthfulness of the parents is a more important factor.

    Comment by krsnakhandelwal — November 29, 2007 @ 1:19 am |Reply

  10. It is a crazy world we live in. We aren’t allowed to discipline our children and then people wonder why children have no respect and why they are running wild. I was spanked a few times as a child, and only a few. I remember those events to this day and what caused them.

    My children have received a few swats from time to time when it is the necessary form or punishment. Mostly, time out and talking work with these two.

    Comment by writmm — November 29, 2007 @ 1:33 am |Reply

  11. thanks for sharing your thoughts and support Barbara

    thanks for visiting and commenting
    the thing to do if you find you get really angry is to have time out first then deal with the matter
    I so know what you mean about others judging you now

    we dont think they do have children of their own
    thanks for your support Amy

    it is Jana

    thanks for visiting and commenting Rachael, Jan and oh so true about the next generation, recel,

    Kay im moving!!!!!! Oh Im so excited!!! into a 3 year old house with a beautiful kitchen and I cant wait. The landlady is lovely 🙂

    you think so??? krsnakhandelwal thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts

    “It is a crazy world we live in.” sure is!!!
    I was spanked as a child too and Im think im an ok adult

    Comment by my3boysandi — November 29, 2007 @ 4:43 am |Reply

  12. I agree with you and most of the commenters, Jen. I think a smack on the hand or bottom does a world of good sometimes. And there’s a big difference in a smack and a beating.

    It all depends on the child. One of my sisters, spanking didn’t work at all with her. Mom had to take away privileges and such. Another sister, just mention spanking and she straightened up right quick!

    I completely disagree with the law against spanking, and it’s probably going to come up before our lawmakers here in the US soon. I really hope it isn’t made law because I’ll be breaking the law occasionally, I’m sure!

    Comment by Diane J. — November 29, 2007 @ 5:49 am |Reply

  13. thanks for that. yea i definitely try to remember that cool down thing.. 😉

    Comment by tiffany — November 29, 2007 @ 9:38 am |Reply

  14. I agree with you Jen, the law doesn’t catch the abusers and just harms those being firm parents. For some kids time out just doesn’t work.

    Comment by lovestitches — November 29, 2007 @ 11:28 am |Reply

  15. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Different parents have different ways of bringing up their kids. So, I think as long as the parent is not abusive and violent, the kid will grow up fine.

    Comment by Tot's Mom — November 29, 2007 @ 2:13 pm |Reply

  16. Great post, Jen. I do believe that law infringes on a parent’s ability to fulfill their responsibilities. Children certainly aren’t benefiting – compare today’s children to children from just 50 years ago. 😦

    Comment by Revka — November 29, 2007 @ 5:06 pm |Reply

  17. Diane
    I also take privileges away mostly this is what I do with My Trier that and time out

    glad to help Tiffany

    thanks LS and Revka

    TM thats the main thing. Ive seen too many child from abusive homes its so sad

    Comment by my3boysandi — November 30, 2007 @ 6:16 am |Reply

  18. […] Forms of Discipline […]

    Pingback by Lots of Reasons to Be . . . « My 3 boys and I — November 30, 2007 @ 7:13 am |Reply

  19. It does seem to be impractical law. I think the intention is good but the law itself seems to just make criminals out of loving parents. I think tougher sentencing and earlier intervention would be better ideas.

    Comment by Hay — November 30, 2007 @ 11:18 am |Reply

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