My 3 boys and I

April 24, 2008

Day 13: 30 day husband/partner encouragement challenge

Filed under: 30 day husband/partner encouragement challenge — by my3boysandi @ 8:24 am

“I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.” Song of Solomon 7:10

The sexual relationship. It’s one of those elements – along with money and children –

that can derail a marriage through negative comments. Negativity destroys intimacy, but

encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond.

Let’s get practical here. Is your husband a “good lover?” Have you told him so? Be

specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please

their wives, especially in this important area of marriage.

In moments of intimacy, do you find your mind wandering? This can change as you

focus on something wonderful about your husband. Realize that your husband wants

intimacy with you…his desire is toward you.

Does this area of your marriage need some work? Remember that this is a sensitive

area for men. Be sure to encourage his lovemaking and masculinity in positive ways.

This is an area where I am still in a dilemma. I feel I am living in sin. We are not married. Yet we live together and have sexual relations with one another. I have asked him to marry me. He doesnt think the time is right. I have tried to abstain and although I felt God had told me too, our relationship nose dived. As you can see I have a dilemma.



  1. I will be praying for you sweetie.

    Comment by denise — April 24, 2008 @ 9:54 am |Reply

  2. Aww Jen (hugs). I guess it would be so hard for you. I guess I’d tend to be quite tough on Mr Music if he were like that. To me, if you can father my children and share my home then you can marry me. It was important to me to bring the kids into a married relationship, because I was so young 19. I asked Mr Music about marriage the other day, if it were important to him to be married or not. He said that it was, he said why wouldn’t he marry me? He likes that I am hie *wife* rather than *partner*. Apparently it meant as much to him as to me, made me very happy đŸ™‚
    Good luck Jen.

    Comment by Hay — April 24, 2008 @ 10:45 am |Reply

  3. Hello lovely Jen,
    Now Bulldog and I are having a huge philosophical discussion on the “value” of marriage… and if we’d be any less committed to each other if we didn’t wear each others’ rings… and whether marriage is just one of those “societal norms”.

    (I keep writing out a long rest-of-the-comment and then deleting it, I have lots of thoughts swirling!!)

    Peace and love to you both as you work this out together, I believe that compromise is essential in a healthy relationship: married or not.

    big hugs,
    Kate X

    Comment by katie X — April 24, 2008 @ 5:56 pm |Reply

  4. That’s a tough one, Jen. Only you can answer this question and you’ll have to work it out with prayer and searching for God’s will for you.

    Love you, my friend. I’ll pray for you and M.


    Comment by Diane J. — April 24, 2008 @ 6:00 pm |Reply

  5. I know that’s tough but do whatever you feel. I believe no one has the right to judge your situation and God knows how much you love each other! BTW, here’s a good tag for you “What I Love Most About My Man”!

    Comment by jennyr — April 25, 2008 @ 10:50 am |Reply

  6. thanks Denise

    Hay Ive told him how I feel. At one of the lowest points in our relationship he threaten to walk out. I dont want that. I love him. I pray that hell change his mind. Thanks Hay

    LOL seems I have a few of you talking Katie
    thanks Katie HUGS

    thanks Diane HUGS

    thanks Jenny

    Comment by my3boysandi — April 25, 2008 @ 4:13 pm |Reply

  7. Nothing is ever straight-forward, Jen and this is one of them. I pray that your dilemma will be solved in time to come. Keep strong, dear friend. Love you and lots of hugs.

    Comment by Alice Teh — April 26, 2008 @ 2:43 pm |Reply

  8. thanks Alice HUGS

    Comment by my3boysandi — April 26, 2008 @ 5:10 pm |Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: